some thoughts
Ha, now Yahoo! email is 1GB too. Yahoo! vs. Gmail, Yahoo! wins with all those cute little emoticons.
So I’ve officially decided to NOT to go back to China this summer (sorry Michii, I’ll bring you the Mao hat next summer…), because i) I need to prepare myself before I step into uni ii) I have a lot of things I wanna do in Toronto iii) I need to get one more job - man I need $$ so very badly. Apparently Lang Lang, Evgeni Kissin, Isaak Perlman and all those big names are coming to Toronto as stated in the TSO 05/06 season program, and I wanna make a subscription to their programs. As well, I’m thinking of joining AGO and possibly ROM for their membership. AND I wanna subscribe to several magazines, like National Geographic, (Teen) Vogue, etc. So, to conclude, I NEED MONEY!!!
…
I find myself getting more and more fed up with speaking to people. Seemingly whatever I say, it’d come out the wrong way. It’s not so much of the fact that I care about how people think of me, it’s that I don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings when I don’t intentionally want to (I really wish we can live in a world in which people can read each other’s mind sometimes). And specifically, I’m fed up with the Chinese hypocritical way of being humble and nice when speaking.
I asked this auntie (she’s Chinese) to come to the Spring Concert on Thursday if she can make it because her daughter’s into music and also, I told her that it’ll be my 18th birthday. She did not look particularly happy and gave me this semi-screwed face, but eventually did agree to come. I was feeling weird and after I got in the car and told my mom about it, I realized that the auntie probably thought the reason why I told her the birthday part was because I intended her to bring me birthday presents. But hell, I so did not mean that. The reason why I told her that was because it’d mean a lot to me if she can just come, especially it’s on a special day for me.
In Chinese culture, if you don’t want something, you say you don’t want it; and if you DO want something, you still say you don’t want it - if you say you do want it, people would think you are greedy and not humble. So on the formal dinner table, when the host asks a guest whether he/she wants more of whatever dish, the guest is expcted to say : oh no, please, it’s so very nice of you, I cannot possibly ask for more (translation: oh yes, please, I do want more) and the host is supposed to say: you are such a welcomed guest, please take more, please. And then the guest is expected to say more crap like what he/she already said to refuse, and then the host does the same and after a few rounds, the guest gets it. Note: it’s mandatory to refuse it. It’s so friggin’ fake.
So, after I realized that I shouldn’t have told her the birthday part, I thought it’d be even worse to go back and explain it to her because if I say to her: please don’t take it the way that I want you to bring me presents for my birthday, because I didn’t mean it; please don’t bring anything at all. And she’d take it as: please do bring me presents, that’s actually what I meant; I just thought that I should come back and point it out to make it clear.
This is utterly hypocritical. Thanks to Confucius.
- just a day, thoughts | Time: 2:02 am (UTC+8)
pretty long entry today!
i understand what u mean about people……….what to do…thats the reality so we have to live with it!
Comment by Parthi — May 4, 2005 @ 3:03 am
i like it when i really don’t want something and they give it to me anyway. that’s always kind of fun.
no need to kick yourself for saying what you did: the spring concert has special significance to you this year, and that’s a plain truth. i don’t think you should feel bad for her reaction–that’s just an indication of that particular person. if she really doesn’t want to come, she won’t, and if she comes because she feels she’s obligated to, then that’s her choice. i just hope she comes, enjoys it immensely, and realizes what a great decision she made
no worries. two days until you’re 18!
Comment by tiff — May 4, 2005 @ 3:33 am
yeah.. but I’ve been cultivated to try have good relationships with other people… and that “the relationship with people is very important.” blah blah.. =S
two days until I’m 18 makes me worry even more.. gah.
Comment by Sof — May 4, 2005 @ 4:01 am
oh yes sof. what you’ve said is incredibly true. this actually comes out to a bigger schism when i talk to western people i think. im still in the mode of being eastern and chinese when i do and the general politeness and such is usually interpreted as weakness by others. (heh, i did a lousy job explaining that, but ill tell you the gist of it sometime)
Comment by jeff — May 4, 2005 @ 4:25 am
i dont knwo if this is appropriate or not but it is to do with asian people
Asian people particularly southasians should chnage their attitude!…..really…….. is it soooooo wrong to have a decent friednship with a girl?
so does it mean that if u are with a guy always that those two are gay?
similarly southasian people have problems! as usual thier mentality is to misunderstand everythign…
so grow up u guys
Comment by Parthi — May 4, 2005 @ 4:33 am
呜呜…你不回来了啊???..看来我们有很长时间会见不到面了…伤心中…………………………..(还是恭喜你能读多大啦.羡慕羡慕!)..:)
顺便说一声,
我完全能体会你的感觉..(我正在受害中)
Comment by yunfeng — May 4, 2005 @ 10:28 am
GMail still owns with 2Gigs of space.
Comment by a — May 4, 2005 @ 5:24 pm
Haha, I know eh, Jeff? Why are you always so polite and cowardly? =P I’m joooking. And that is also my problem. =(
Parthi I think it’s also a cultural/religious thing. In China, between two girls, they can hold hands, link arms, hug, kiss on the cheeks etc., but here in Canada if you see two girls at our age holding hands, they’d probably be deemed as lesbians. But yeah, I agree with the ‘grow up guys’ part. When I was doing my English presentation, I showed a few French impressionistic paintings inspired by prostitutes, and one brown guy was like : ewwwww… it’s a naked body! *points and covers his eyes* Geez, how old are you? This is called ART.
Oo really? But Gmail still doesn’t own, because 2G and 1G doesn’t make a huge difference anymore - I can hardly even use up 5% of 1GB. =P
Comment by Sof — May 4, 2005 @ 7:57 pm
我当时考虑回国也就是想见你呀，可是咱的经济状况实在不行啦，要努力挣钱。
你别羡慕我了你，考上Oberlin是一件十分牛儿的事情，我羡慕还来不及呢，呵呵。（我也再次恭喜一下子）不过等你在美国都安置好了，学习又不紧张的时候，一定来多伦多转转。咱在北美见面的机会还是有的。
还有，非常感谢那张生日卡，^___________^
(你是指因为说话被人误解而在受害？唉…在中国活着简直是太难了）
Comment by Sof — May 4, 2005 @ 8:02 pm
chinese guy 1: sup
chinese guy 2: sup
1: happy new year
2: ya
(they exchange $500000 red packets)
1: aww u shouldn’t have
2: aww how nice of you
Comment by kenjamin — May 5, 2005 @ 2:39 am
那你准备啥时候回来？要想死我们你才善罢甘休吗？坏东西！还有，今天，中国是5月5 号，生日快乐！过两天二模，然后就是高考了，盼呀盼的这个假期能和你好好玩，泡汤了，要能过去找你就好了……以后我可能不会再上网了。
Comment by zoe — May 5, 2005 @ 9:35 am
那你准备啥时候回来？要想死我们你才善罢甘休吗？坏东西！还有今天中国是5月5 号生日快乐！过两天二模然后就是高考了盼呀盼的这个假期能和你好好玩泡汤了要能过去找你就好了其他话暂就不在这大庭广众之下说了，现在生活很忙碌我连标点都懒得打了
Comment by zoe — May 5, 2005 @ 9:38 am
Happy Birthday gal! You are…..
“the day on which a person reaches the age of 21 and is traditionally said, in Western societies, to become an adult” still very young!!!
Good luck for tonight!
see ya tomorrow.
Comment by i.s. — May 5, 2005 @ 8:20 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You owned this evening! Congrats!
Comment by a — May 6, 2005 @ 4:20 am